Trending: Motherhood without marriage | BabyCenter

Everybody?s doing it.

Well, not everyone. But, in America, more than half of the babies born to women under thirty are born out of wedlock.

Why? This is what researchers are trying to find out.

It?s apparent, by the looks of this N.Y. Times article that the term illegitimate child has finally lost its power to stigmatize and marginalize.

Among mothers of all ages, a majority ? 59 percent in 2009 ? are married when they have children. But the surge of births outside marriage among younger women ? nearly two-thirds of children in the United States are born to mothers under 30 ? is both a symbol of the transforming family and a hint of coming generational change.

The trend has shifted the fastest among white women in their twenties who have some college education but no bachelors degree. According to the article, those numbers have triple since 1990. Those with college degrees, for now, appear to be sticking with tradition and marrying before having children. This worries researchers who see this family structure growing into a class divide.

The increase in out-of-wedlock births is linked to an increase in cohabitation. Unlike in Europe, cohabitating relationships, according to the article, have more than double the chance of dissolving than do marriages.

The shift is affecting children?s lives. Researchers have consistently found that children born outside marriage face elevated risks of falling into poverty, failing in school or suffering emotional and behavioral problems.

While some women interviewed for the article claim economics as being behind their reasons for not marrying, one going so far as to say, ?We can support ourselves and our kids, we don?t need to rely on men anymore,?, others point to the failed marriages of their own parents as being the reason behind their wary treatment of marriage. Either way, the decision to stay single seems a very conscious choice. (Some of the women interviewed did not paint a promising picture when describing the fathers of their children.)

Whatever the reason? married or not? as a temporarily single mom, the last 10 months of solo parenting has really opened my eyes to just how important having a second, committed adult in the house is to me and my children. I constantly feel as if I am not enough, and my children need more, but I have no more to give.

That said, rarely a day goes by anymore without my hearing about yet another seemingly- sound marriage succumbing to financial or physical stress and falling apart at the seams. There are no guarantees, however you slice it.

Are you married? Do you think marriage is essential to raising children? Would you consider marrying just to make your child ?legitimate??

Source: http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/0219201trending-motherhood-without-marriage/

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